OG: Original Geologist

Postcard about the world's first geologist
Reverse side of postcard about the world's first geologist

Message on postcard:
Hey Stew — Did you know? Wilma Flintstone was the world’s first geologist. Instead of a rock hammer, she had a pterodactyl who wore a crash helmet. “You think your job stinks!” he would say after pounding rocks with his head. Happy belated birthday, man.

Serious chunks

Postcard collage of a man sitting in front of the state of Iowa, with the word CHUNKS repeated over and over
Reverse side of postcard collage about chunks

Message on postcard:

Dear Hungus,

Chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks. Chunks, chunks, chunks…  chunks and chunks. Chunks chunks chunks-chunks; chunks chunks chunks. Chunks chunks? Ha! Chunks. Chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks.


PS: Chunks chunks chunks Witzke?

Wild oats, domesticated animals

Postcard collage featuring dairy cattle, a happy-looking man, and the phrase urging the reader to sow some oatws
Reverse side of postcard collage about sowing oats

Message on postcard:
Hey Witzke — I know sometimes life comes at you fast. In the words of French artist Paul Gauguin, “Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? Is it possible to have a baby with a cow?” Yes you can and it is never too late. Life is just not complete until you have a human-calf hybrid. People who don’t have them will never understand how fulfilling it is. You never know what love is until you look into the eyes of a hideous baby cow and see your face there. Also, it is selfish not to have a baby with a cow, and choosing not to do so makes you a bad person.