Scientifically designed

Postcard collage of luxury SUV in front of western landscape, with the text "Because crazy isn't crazy" and "scientifically designed to promote healthy testosterone levels"
Reverse side of postcard collage, with text that says "But it's crazy for a reason"

Message on postcard:
Hi Wyatt — Greetings from my home in Arizona, and thanks for requesting a postcard. It’s car themed, probably because I’ve been futzing around with cars lately. We don’t have any testosterone-promoting cars; we have my Vanagon and my fiancé’s busted-ass Ford Focus. This weekend I’m replacing the valve cover gasket and a motor mount on the Ford. I’m extremely insecure about my manhood, so before I begin the job I’ll be consuming a testosterone milkshake made out of old truck tires.


Post-postcard update:
After I wrote this postcard, I fixed the above-mentioned problems and some miscellaneous other issues. It required a trip to the junkyard to pull parts. While there, I saw a certain white Ford Bronco.

White Ford Bronco in a junkyard, with the hood open, no wheels, and the text "OJ why?" spray-painted on the side

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