Subscription postcards: Chocolate outrage, confusion in Hebo, and Gangnam’s high-water mark

Postcard collage of Bill Clinton in the South Dakota Badlands, with the text "mature adult" next to his head.

Message on postcard:
Hey Steve —Today I saw a glucose-based, nutritional energy gel for sale. The name of the product was “Chocolate Outrage”. I can’t say for sure, but I think it was named by a white guy.

Packages of a product called "chocolate outrage".

Chocolate-flavored, honkey-christened.


Postcard collage of four differently colored cobs of corn in the South Dakota Badlands, captioned with the phrase "Harness the Transformative Power".

Message on postcard:
Mollie — Greetings from Mount Hebo, near the Oregon coast! I’m camping here with my girlfriend Mandy. It’s a little cold out, and there are a few patchy remnants of snow on the ground. Skunk cabbage is blooming in a nearby stream and along the lake. It is very peaceful, especially compared to the bait and tackle shop a couple miles away in downtown Hebo. It is your one-stop shop for fishing gear and hateful, self-pitying screeds printed from the Internet and misattributed to Bill Cosby.


Postcard collage of a happy, mustachioed man standing in front of his shiny old car. Behind him is a peaceful sunset on a Washington beach.

Message on postcard:
Bridget — I am at a coffee shop in Pacific City, Oregon. There is a chalkboard here, upon which a person has written “Gangnam Style! Whoop whoop! Don’t erase.” The entire declaration contains twenty additional exclamation points not included here. Years from now I think that historians will recognize this chalkboard as the official high-water mark for worldwide interest in “Gangnam Style”.

Gangnam-awareness chalkboard in Pacific City, Oregon.

I’m used to seeing the words “don’t erase” next to complicated equations on physics department chalkboards. But this is important, too.

Subscription postcards: Dirt and oil, bus of intrigue, babies of the nothing

Postcard collage of woman, 1972 Monte Carlo, and arid mountainside. Text reads: "Dirt and oil: The revolutionary way to mix and match."

Message on postcard:
Andrew — Last weekend I took part in the annual Worst Day of the Year Ride. It’s a bike ride that takes place during the part of February that is statistically the worst part of winter. This year we lucked out and there wasn’t any rain. In fact, we double-lucked out. The pre- and post-ride staging area had donut holes.

Donut hole nirvana.

Donut hole nirvana at the Worst Day of the Year Ride.

Postcard collage: Greyhound bus in front of leaf-strewn clearing in the woods, with the text "Designed to intrigue."

Message on postcard:
Jeff — The foul weather is still plaguing Portland, but lately we’ve been getting a really nice day every couple of weeks. These are the days when cool old cars emerge from hibernation. All winter long these quasi-reliable beasts of old are hidden under garage roofs or rotting tarps … but when the sun comes out, so too does (for example) a blue 1978 Dodge van whose owner will talk to you at length about important van-related matters while you stand in the street taking photographs, blocking traffic.

A blue 1978 Dodge van.

Riding in style.

Postcard collage: Baby animals and an upside-down bat. Text says "Babies of the NOTHING".

Reverse side of postcard: "If anybody wants to have an itch, I'm ready to be a scratcher."

Message on postcard:
Steve — I found this in a newspaper sitting on a table at a coffee shop.