Letters from the road: Tom’s wedding

Good morning Carina! Last night was wedding night for Tom and Maria. This morning was clean-up morning, but as the old saying goes: Many hands make light work. All the tables under the big tent were cleared in about twenty minutes. With tablecloths pulled and garbage off the ground.

I took the dogs for a little walk after breakfast. That was when I found this pocketknife in a field. All morning long I’ve been asking people if they know anyone who lost a pocketknife. People keep saying no. I may own a slick new knife!

And now it’s Monday the 27th.

I kept asking around. I couldn’t find the rightful owner. I kept the knife.

I’m house-sitting for Tom. He’s out in Hood River with his new bride.

Weddings are kind of hard for me. For a variety of reasons that aren’t worth getting into here. I spent a fair amount of time after the actual ceremony just wandering around the farm, avoiding people. Then I shook it off and joined the end of the line for dinner, and getting food made me feel better. And I wound up staying awake until two a.m. dancing and socializing.

Socializing is another thing that’s hard for me, for reasons that I can’t get in to here because I don’t know what they are.

Being bad at weddings and being bad at socializing means that I overcame a synergistic life skills hurdle this weekend … I’m totally putting that on my résumé.

I feel fortunate to have good friends. I don’t do well with the typical “oh hello tell me in three minutes about the last six years since I’ve seen you” wedding chatter. I sucked it up and had a few of those conversations, but I also had some good conversations about the heavy things in life. You never really figure life out with these conversations, but for me at least it goes a long way toward making me more comfortable with not having it figured out.

#1. Bow and Arrow. Mr. Bow and Ms. Arrow joined forces to kill. In a rugged land of prehistoric bloodshed and survival it was at first a marriage of convenience. But soon they grew to love each other. Together they slew millions of men and beasts, but always returned home together to keep things spicy. Their offspring include the better known couple Guns and Ammo.

#2. Pencil and Paper. Although Pencil and Paper seem to be worlds apart from that other noteworthy power couple, Bow and Arrow, it was actually Bow and Arrow’s bloody pairing that made Pencil and Paper’s more cerebral coupling possible. Creating a stable society through the use of deadly force allowed for the creation of a noble class of philosopher kings whose important work paved the way for this steamy office romance.

#3. Pie and Ice Cream. The most delicious pairing of the bunch also has the saddest story. When Ice Cream began melting on Pie, these star-crossed lovers were eaten alive on their wedding day.

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