Subscription postcards: Exploding craters, an important message from Hubert Humphrey, and a bunch of chimps

Postcard collage: Diagram of lava exploding, with the text "How Craters Were Formed: Bubble Theory". In the background is Crater Lake.

Message on postcard:
Sacha — I’m here at the Tillamook Cheese factory in Tillamook, Oregon, where they have a kiosk that allows you to send “Cheese Mail”, a cheese-themed video postcard that will be warmly received by friends, family, and, if the amphetaminic Cheese Mail marketing is to believed, your coworkers. Three Cheese Mails cost just one dollar, so of course I was very excited to send out about fifteen hundred. Unfortunately, the kiosk ate my dollar and I left dejected.


Postcard collage: A drawing of Hubert Humphrey in front of a green wooden building plastered in quilts, with a word bubble saying "Hello Clear Skin"

Message on postcard:
Evgeniya — Gift shops are weird. I visited the Tillamook Cheese factory today and their gift shop only had one good postcard of the factory. But they did have copies of the books Life in the Goat Lane and How to Live with Teenagers. The cover of the latter book featured a crazed-looking teenager about to run over an old lady with his car. I’m not sure what it had to do with cheese or why the teen’s heart was filled with such malice.

This seems less like advice and more like a warning.

This seems less like advice and more like a warning.

It's also the title of a little known B-side by the Eagles.

It’s also the title of a little known B-side by the Eagles.


Postcard collage: A group of chimps in front of Crater Lake.

Message on postcard:
Elizabeth — Here is a picture of chimps using tools to get food. They stick twigs into dirt that’s full of bugs. Then they eat the bugs that are on the twig. People used to think that only humans use tools. Today we know that other primates (like chimps), birds, elephants, and even some insects can use simple tools.

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